Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
