is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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