that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've blown a few things in my day
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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