Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
