She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
