you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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