what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Randomize
