So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i've created a new STD.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
