I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
