Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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