Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
