brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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