and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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