Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
