Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
