How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize