Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
