jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
