i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize