Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
