Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
