My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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