She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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