Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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