from now on my penis is your penis
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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