I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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