i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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