Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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