Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
