I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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