dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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