Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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