I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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