Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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