omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
