3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
