Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
