he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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