the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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