i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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