So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
