only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize