There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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