I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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