youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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