he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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