I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
