Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
