So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
