I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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