Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
that may or may not have been my penis.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize