The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
