I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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