You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I want her autograph on my taint
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
