i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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