she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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