I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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