Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
