Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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