I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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