wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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